Linda Varone | Nurturing Spaces Feng Shui

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COVID Face Masks: Safety with Style

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It looks like COVID face masks are going to be with us for a while. So far, they have been merely functional. While our current wardrobes for running errands may have devolved to baggy t-shirts and elastic-waist pants, we can still add a spark of beauty, whimsy, or simply great style with the COVID face masks we wear.

You know you feel good when you wear something you love. Get one, or some, of the creative COVID face masks offered for sale online by Peabody Essex Museum’s gift shop and Studio Hyacinth.

Peabody Essex Museum

The Peabody Essex Museum (PEM) in Salem has debuted a line of face masks based on some of the artwork in their collection. The PEM is one of New England’s finest (and often overlooked museums). They are also offering COVID face masks designed by local artists Carla Fernandez and Maria Conejo.

Peabody Essex Museum covid face mask of embroidered fabric
Reproduction of embroidered antique fabric
Peabody Essex Museum mask "farmers'
Modern design depicting farmers by Fernandez and Conejo
Peabody Essex Museum COVID face mask of sailing sloop
18th Century Sailing Sloop

Want an old sloop sailing across your face? A 19th Century witch flying over an aerial view of Salem Harbor? A reproduction of richly embroidered antique fabric? Or, a wide-eyed owl with outspread wings based on a 19th Century fan?

Click here to see more Peabody Essex Museum designs and how to order.  PEM members save 10%.

Studio Hyacinth

Studio Hyacinth is the creative space of skilled local seamstress Nobuko Yoshihara. She makes beautiful custom garments, as well as doing clever alterations and repairs.

Nobuko is now making a full line of COVID face masks in sizes from toddler to large adult. She uses charming and witty fabrics to make masks in many colors and patterns. Nobuko works with Marimekko fabrics and beautiful Japanese kimono silks. She also offers cartoon character, action hero, and local sports team logo masks. New fabrics are arriving all the time.

Studio Hyacinth Merimekko masks
Studio Hyacinth Marimekko masks
Studio Hyacinth kimono silk COVID face masks
Studio Hyacinth kimono silk masks
Studio Hyacinth Halloween Dogs masks
Studio Hyacinth Halloween dogs masks

Click here to see more of Nobuko’s designs and how to order.

As with everything good these days, patience is necessary. These COVID face masks are handmade and very popular. Be assured any wait will be worth it.

Consider ordering a few as gifts for family and friends.

You will look great and feel great in these beauties. AND, you will be supporting local businesses and cultural institutions. A real Win: Win.

Please Note: I do not have any financial connection with either The Peabody Essex Museum or Studio Hyacinth. I just like what they are doing with face masks. I want to help people find a spark during the “new normal”.

Looking for a spark of fresh energy or beauty in your home or office? Contact me. We’ll discuss how to tailor a consultation to meet your needs.

Be well; be safe.

photos by Peabody Essex Museum and Nobuko Yoshihara

Hygge to Survive “COVID-19 Winter”

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Many people are comparing the isolation required by this pandemic to feeling snowbound during a blizzard.

Hygge to survive Covid 19 winter
Hygge to gather together when outside is not welcoming.

But as much as we a hoping for a short duration to this necessary isolation, epidemiologists are warning that if the coronavirus impacts Americans the same way it has the Italians and Chinese we could be housebound for months not weeks: we will need Hygge to survive “COVID – 19 winter.”

If that is the case then we need to re-visit the wisdom of Hygge to create homes that are not only cozy but stimulating, during this time of necessary isolation.

Hygge is more than the stereotype of candles, colorful socks and a warm beverage by the fire. It is a generations-old tradition for staying sane during the isolation of long, dark Scandinavian winters.

Revisit the Wisdom of Hygge

1. Enjoy comfort foods.

Hygge to survive covid 19 winter comfort foods
Comfort foods for your Covid 19 Winter

Soups, stews, and crusty breads are essential. Pasta and pizza (make your own or jazz-up a frozen one) soothe the soul. Home-baked (even if not homemade) cookies are extra delicious. Try sheet pan dinners for something easy and healthy. And add chocolate and alcohol (in moderation).

2. Spend time outdoors.

Get outside, unless you are in a shelter-in-place situation or live in a densely populated area. Even in the coldest weather, Scandinavians enjoy winter sports. With “physical distancing” and avoiding crowds, you can walk, bike or hike responsibly. Get some fresh air and sunshine. You will keep the weight off and sleep better.

3. Make time for socializing.

A phone call is better than any text or email. A person’s voice gives you inflections and nuances that tell you how they are feeling. The back-and-forth of a conversation is more natural, swift and effortless than any text. Make a list of friends and family beyond your usual circle and keep in touch by phone.

4. Music

is a major part of Scandinavian life. Every little village has its choir. Singing together bonds people. Listen to, sing along with, or make music. Sing in the shower. Sing outside the shower. Learn how to play an instrument or improve your music skills. Try watching your favorite movie musical as a sing-along event, whether you are with others or alone. Your dog will be your only critic.

5. Make something with your hands.

Hygge to survive covid 19 winter make something with your hands
Make something with your hands.

So much of our daily lives, work and play, involves hitting buttons on computers. Boring! Bake a batch of cookies. Knead some bread – great fun for everyone and a chance to work out frustrations. Knit, sew, finish those DIY projects that have been bugging you. When you are done you will have something you can hold (in your hands) that is evidence of your effort and creativity.

Click here for more stress-busters

Even though we are physically separated, we are in this together.

What things do you like to do when you are home? Are you using other Hygge ideas to survive Covid-19 Winter? Share your ideas and stories below in the comments.

Personal Space: What You Do for Yourself Transforms Your World

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When you feel buffeted by the world, take care of yourself – create a personal space

What you do, for yourself and others, has a ripple effect that spreads wide.

personal space “What you do for yourself - any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself - will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you’re doing for others, and what you do for others, you’re doing for yourself.” - Pema Chodron, in Offerings 9 November.
Personal Space “What you do for yourself changes your experience of the world.”

Often, when consutling clients with families I notice two things:

  1. The focus is on setting up their home for hectic family life.
  2. The parents, especially the moms, have no place of their own – a room, cozy corner oe personal space just for themselves.

Fact: Life is hectic; and with children it is exponentially more hectic.

For renewal:

  • Kids have their own rooms to use as a personal space, a personal retreat
  • Men have man caves or workshops where they can escape.
  • Women rarely have a place of their own. (Master bedrooms don’t count, they are shared spaces.)

Everyone needs a space to call their own. A place to re-connect with yourself and re-charge.

What is minimally needed for a personal space? A comfortable chair, a good lamp and a table for your mug of coffee or glass of wine. A space to just “be”.
Where to set up?
A spare room? You’re golden!
Make the space yours with artwork, big bulletin boards for your inpirations. a larger table for crafts, writing, exploring. Floor space for exercise or meditation.
An under used guest room?
Rethink the space and what’s in it.
Set-up the room, or at least a corner of the room for you.
No spare space? If you have a family room and an underused living room, stake a claim to that place. Make it comfortable and welcoming for you.

Setting up a personal space for yourself is being kind to yourself.

If you have kids and feel guilty about creating a personal space and making time for yourself, this is a chance to role-model for your children.

  • Show your daughters it’s OK for a mother to take time for herself.
  • Show your sons it’s improtant for the women in their life to have me-time.

Create time and space for yourself, to re-connect and re-charge. This is essential, not a luxury. You will be happier for it, and the people in your world will be happier too.

What you do for yourself, you are doing for others…”

View other articles on creating space for yourself:

Women-Only Stress-Buster Space
Create a Place to Honor the Sacred in Your Life

Want a space to call your own? Need help? Contact me. Together we create a personal space that nourishes you and uses what you already own.

Please share your comments in the space below.

graphic by author

Feng Shui Vacation: Away or at Home

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When is a vacation, not a vacation?; When you don’t take a break from stress.

When is a vacation a Feng Shui vacation? When you balance the frantic Yang of your daily life with some Ying down-time.

Dog taking a feng shui vacation. dog resting on grass.
Dogs know when to take it easy. The Buddha said that dogs have buddha-nature. We can learn from them. (Cat lovers please scroll down.)

One of my favorite bloggers wrote a thought-provoking business book review. But I was surprised to learn she read this book while on vacation! This was after a previous post about her kids pointing out she is always either working or thinking about work, and how she wanted to change this. She needs a Feng Shui Vacation.

The ancient Chinese did not take vacations. So we don’t have easy role models.

A feng shui vacation is not about a particular place to go, or activities to do, but about creating a sense of balance. Yang is activity, Ying is rest. We are so used to the frantic pace of our lives and the demands placed on us, that it takes some conscious thought and action to change when on vacation.

The ancient Chinese did not have electronics, so they were not distracted, annoyed, or invaded by electronic chatter and information overload. Their lives were less frenetic than ours. In between working the land to feed their families, they could enjoy the rhythms of sunrise and sunset, birdsong, the sound of river and ocean, and the smell of the earth and its offerings of food and flowers. This is something we can copy from the ancient Chinese.

Some friends were talking about vacation plans and a few are planning home-based day-trip vacations. One friend spoke eloquently about her plans to be “unplugged” this vacation, that it was the only way to have a real break from everyday stress.

So whether you are having an away-vacation or “stay-cation” here are some ideas on how to have a Feng Shui vacation that is restorative, renewing and relaxed.

Tips on How to Have a Feng Shui Vacation

Unplug!:

  • Turn off your computer
  • Take off your watch
  • Turn off your cell phone
  • Stop watching the news
  • Stop watching TV – nothing but sorry reruns anyway.
  • Now exhale.

Do something different:

Let go of goals, like “this vacation I will: run 10 miles, complete that project, start my diet, knock a stroke off my golf game,” and so on. You get the idea

If you are doing a home-based vacation or a long weekend:

  • “Play tourist” in your hometown or region. There must be fun and interesting places you have put off enjoying because you “don’t have time.”
  • Camp out in your own back yard – literally. Set up a tent.
  • Sing songs around a campfire, kerosene lamp or cluster of pillar candles.
  • Eat al fresco every night – even if it means taking your kitchen-prepared supper onto the back porch,a blanket on the lawn, or a nearby park.
  • Enjoy your breakfast al fresco – you’re on vacation and don’t have to rush off to work or school.
  • Take in an outdoor movie or live entertainment.
  • Go on a culinary vacation and try new foods – a different ethnic restaurant or a new recipe.
  • Since your TV is off, play some music and dance – alone or with your sweetie.
  • While you are not doing the news, play music or audio book CD’s in your car.
  • Take time to rest and day dream – this is when you reconnect with your deepest self.
cat taking feng shui vacation. Cat resting.
Cat taking a feng shui vacation. Cats are more inscrutable teachers.

Have fun!

Create spaces in your home that support you taking a break from stress. Contact Linda for a personal consultation.

Learn more about adding Feng Shui to your summer”
Gardens that Grow Wonderful Memories
Feng Shui Your Patio; Feng Shui Your Porch

dog photo by mjk23
cat photo by Abhijit Chandvankar

Feng Shui Tips: Bring Beach Bliss Home for Vacation Feeling All Year

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vacation feeling feng shui master bedroom beach scene
Bring Beach Bliss Home. Recreate the feeling of your favorite place. Energize your travel wishes.

Keep That Vacation Feeling All Year Long

Lying on the beach, for a day or for a week, you find yourself reaching a level of total relaxation that is rare in our hectic lives. Whether you experience this bliss on a beach, on a lake, or in the mountains; you want to bring some of that vacation feeling back home with you.
Tangible things rekindle memories and dreams.
 
 
 
 

In Your Bedroom Re-create The Feeling of the Place That Nurtures Your Soul.

One client has a special love of the seaside.  The bedroom was already the pale blue of an ocean sky. She placed a few pictures and mementos of the ocean and her home there, to the delight of herself and her husband.

  • If a cabin in the woods is your delight, then place a Hudson Bay or LL Bean blanket over your favorite chair.
  • Travels to distant lands?  A window draped with sari fabric from India.
  • A paper mache box from Venice becomes your jewelry box.

How-tos: Keep that Vacation Feeling Going All Year

  • Frame a snapshot of you having a wonderful time. The most important thing is that the photo captures the positive energy of that moment and when you look at it you re-experience some of that joy.
  • Enlarge and frame a photo or print of a particular scene from a place you love, or would love to visit.
  • Create a collage of photos or postcards that you love
  • Consider getting “useful” souvenirs that you will use often instead of tchotchskes (knick knacks):
  • If you savor your tea by the cup get a special tea rather than a tea pot that will be shoved to the back of your cabinet.
  • Or a jam like the one you had at that wonderful bed and breakfast
  • Remember physical things are just triggers for the memories of your travels. Things come and go, your memories are forever.

    • &nbsp:

    How do you keep that vacation feeling going in your home and in your life? I would love to hear your ideas.

     

    Want To Make That Travel Dream Come True?

    Activate the Travel area of the Ba-Gua. As you stand in the door facing the house or room, the travel area is in the front right hand corner nearest the door.  This is the part of the Ba-Gua that influences both Travel and Helpful People. Travel includes where you have been and where you would like to go. Helpful People includes friends, colleagues and mentors.

    Place a Feng Shui cure or image of where you want to go in the Ba-Gua Travel area.

Contact me to learn more about making your home or office reflect your wishes and dreams.

Words of Wisdom

“To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.”   – Jane Austen, English novelist (1775-1817

Book review

My favorite feet-up books are mysteries by Tony Hillerman and Reginald Hill. Hillerman’s books take place on the Navajo reservation in Arizona and New Mexico. The land becomes one of the characters. “A Thief of Time” is particularly good. Hillermans’ books have added the Southwest to my travel wish list. Hill’s books take place in Yorkshire, England. “Beyond the Woods” weaves together an old and a new mystery, while “Picture Perfect” parodies Jane Austen with an affectionate wink.

What are your favorite vacation reads?

photo by andrew w osterberg

Feng Shui Life Transitions: Creating Space to Support the New You and Your New Life

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People often call me for a Feng Shui help when they are going through life transitions.

  They want to make the most of this opportunity and “do it right.” 

life transitions, feng shui wisdom, photo of monarch butterfly emerging from crysallis
Feng Shui wisdom supports you through life transitions.

Feng Shui is especially helpful when you are going through life transitions. Some life changes you choose and some are thrust upon you.  Life transitions can be external like moving, doing a major home renovation, or life events like birth, death and divorce. Life transitions can be more subtle, internal ones like career change, empty nesting, and meeting health challenges.
 
 

Use Feng Shui to create a space that supports you, your energy and your vision of what you want to be is very important.

  Just like having the right clothes for the occasion helps you feel confident and do better, so does having the right space for your life transition. The wisdom of Feng Shui helps you feel better, be more focused and more productive in both visible and invisible ways especially during life transitions. In the process of creating the space, your goals and the steps to making them come true become clearer to you. Making choices about something solid, like your home or office, can be both grounding and reassuring, especially when you feel like the rug (figuratively and sometimes literally) has been pulled out from under you.

Arranging your space is a tangible way support the inner work of creating your new life. 

There is an old chestnut about the Chinese pictogram for the word “change”, it is made up of the root words for “chaos” and “opportunity”. We choose how we approach change: as an opportunity or as a catastrophe.

Creating space that positively supports you during life transitions is especially important.

Most subtle are the internal changes of personal growth.

  Take time to reflect on those changes, think about your ideal future, and the steps to make that real. This requires a special space and personal objects to honor that metamorphosis. This is where Feng Shui is most helpful.

Moving, both into a new space and into a new you, are great times to get rid of the old and make room for the new.

  Recognizing that we are constantly growing and developing. This means what had interest and meaning for us in the past may no longer be part of who we are. Letting go of the old, literally makes room for those things that reflect and support who we are now and who we are becoming. It’s OK to let go of the books about a subject or author that you used to love, but have outgrown.  It’s OK to let go of the half finished craft project that you have grown bored with.

Letting go of what belonged to someone who is no longer with you can be emotion-filled.

Get whatever help you need to do this.  Select those special treasures that remind you of the best of that person and the times you shared with him. Photos, gifts and mementos with particular meaning for you should be kept. Ordinary photos, gifts, unused items and possessions can be shared with friends and family or donated to a charity or recycled. Keep those things with the best memories for you.

When a new baby or child comes into your life, every part of your life and your house will be taken over by that little person.

It is especially important to make your own bedroom a sanctuary for you and your partner.  If your newborn is sleeping in your room with you, make sure that it still feels like your room, not a second version of the baby’s room.  Keep your romantic mementos out and visible. Remember, you were a couple before you became parents.

When a relationship ends, that is a time for a clean sweep.

Get rid of as much of the stuff that reminds you of your “ex” as possible.  If you feel it is too valuable to give away then sell it on e-Bay. Notify your “ex” of the calendar date when all of his/her stuff has to be removed from your place, or you will trash it or donate it to a local charity.  No excuses. You are not their free Ready-Stor.

Now that you have made room for your present and future, what do you want to do with it?

  If your creativity is moving from hobby to business, it may be time to move your work table from the hallway into that underused guest room.  I recommended that to one client. She gained not only more space, but closet storage, better lighting, a telephone/internet connection and privacy when she needed it.  She took this idea and made it her own, with big cork boards on the wall to display pictures that inspired new ideas and projects in process – so she could literally step back and really look at them.

One client called her new home office empowering.  It was a visible way to say to herself and the world that what she was doing was important.

Often when a relationship ends there is a need for healing.

  During this time your bedroom may need to be a sanctuary for you.  Be sure there is good lighting, dark rooms hinder healing. Feng Shui suggests you bring in some healthy, lush and colorful plants or flowers.

Enhance the Helpful People (friends) area of your Ba-Gua and the Inner Wisdom/Self Development area as well. Bring supportive people and energy into your life.

 
Bring in elements of whimsy. Place reminders of what you want to do for yourself with your future: travel to a place that you want to see, go to that exhibition that you are interested in, play the music you love, find new friends and partners. Be gentle with yourself. Live in the present and build a bridge to the future.

Lifestyle changes necessitated by career changes or health challenges really benefit from a space specifically created to support that need.

  Whether it is a room dedicated to this or a corner, making a space for exercise, meditation, healthy cooking and eating, creative self-expression will support your efforts.  A space that supports both reflection and action. 

Reflection without action gets you nowhere, action without reflection gets you nowhere faster.

3 steps to creating space for a new you

    1- clear out the old and what represents the “Old You.”

    2- set up working, creating, exercising, cooking or meditating space with everything you will need to do this and feel good about it.

  • Work table, desk, books, lighting, plants, inspiring art and mementos, music, aroma, appropriate seating for activity, rug or floor cushion, supplies.

3- Cleansing ritual Blessing ritual

  • soap and water cleaning
  • music
  • flowers and candles and prayer/intention

 

Contact Linda for help and support during your life transition.

How has Feng Shui helped you with a new chapter of your life? Share in the comments below.

image by Sid Mosdell

Feng Shui Holidays, Or Can Money Buy Happiness? Yes and No

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Walking past a coffee shop two days after Halloween I shuddered as I heard Christmas music on their sound system. You know, the really cheesy pop-rock Christmas music. The kind of music that is an insult to both the holiday and music. Like it or not the holiday shopping season is upon us. Time for Feng Shui Holidays

Feng Shui is about harmony and balance – how can you stay in balance during the most frenetic six weeks of the year?

In the spirit of the harmony and balance of Feng Shui holidays, here is a brief animated video “Can Money Buy Happiness” with the fascinating information from scientific studies about how human think of, related to and handle money.

Key Points

    Money can buy you happiness – up to a point.
    Buying experiences brings more happiness than buying things
    Giving to others brings more happiness than buying things for yourself.
    If you are saving for a big experience – a trip for example – don’t forget the everyday little treats that make life fun.

Money and Feng Shui Holiday Shopping

If you know what family and friends want, then the hard part is done. If you have family who don’t know what they want, or friends “who have everything,” then your work is cut-out for you.

How to Give Experiences and Interactive (non-electric) Toys

Think local, and I don’t mean the local mall. If your town is lucky enough to have a Main Street shopping district check it out. Find a local toy or craft store. Look in your newspaper for plays, concerts or museum exhibits that your giftee would enjoy and order tickets. A local sporting event – even on the college or minor league level can be great fun. Go together to a movie starring someone’s latest swoon.

One way is to step back from the commercial machine that the holidays has become.

Tips on How to Enjoy Feng Shui Holidays

How to Light the Holiday Table
How to Make a Merry Christmas – Plus the Recipe for Katherine Hepburn’s Deliciously Easy Brownies

Links for My Favorite Shopping Places:

Artbeat: The Creativity Store
Creative Adventure Kits – Sand art for all ages.
Ten Thousand Villages – handmade, original and exotic fair trade stocking stuffers and gift exchange gifts.

Don’t Aim For Perfection In Anything

Not the holiday meals, the decoration of your home, or the perfection of the gifts you give. Martha Stewart will NOT be making a personal inspection of your home and holiday preparations. It’s the mishaps that make the best memories. My family still laughs about the sweet little Christmas tree we got one year. Only to discover, once we got it home, its trunk was bent like a dog’s back leg. My mother simply tied the tree to the stair bannister and everything was fine.

Add A Little Feng Shui To Your Holidays

Help everyone handle the stress of the holidays in their own way. And make this time of year more enjoyable and meaningful. Think of Yin and Yang: Active and Quiet. They balance each other and are the guide to harmony. Balance out the activities of the holiday season with quiet time, either with your family or by yourself. After some active snowman building (the weather gods willing) gather together for hot chocolate, cookies and a quieter holiday video (Patrick Stewart’s A Christmas Carol), time for quiet play with new toys, or curl up with the book you received. Recognize that some family members may have more need to be active, while others have more need for quiet time (a little Five Element insight) and plan your activities accordingly.

Wishing you the Happiest of Holidays!

Holiday season or not, contact Linda for Feng Shui help and sanity.

Man Caves: Why Do Men Need Them? Feng Shui Perspective

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Man caves are the subject of lots of jokes, but man caves fill an essential function. Is this something new? Or is it feeding a deep and primal need?
 
man cave relaxation fcc DDfc
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Modern social science has discovered that men need solitude to reduce stress and recharge their batteries. While women reach-out to “tend and befriend”. Men go inward. Men go to their man caves. Before man caves there were basement workshops, garage workbenches and poorly-lit bars. From a Feng Shui point of view: Men go into a Yin place/state and women go into to a Yang place/state.

Yin and Yang

The ancient Taoists created concepts that explained our universe and ourselves. First came Chi – the breath of life, the animating energy of the universe. Then Chi divided in two and became Yin and Yang. These are complimentary opposites. You cannot have one without the other. Note the small circle within each swish, this represents the existence of the opposite within each. Everything in the universe is made up of different proportions of Yin and Yang. Every human being is made up of both Yin and Yang.

blue and gold ying/yang medallion
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Yang is described as:

  • bright,
  • loud,
  • active,
  • rational and
  • stereotypically male

Yin is described as:

  • dark,
  • quiet,
  • passive (I think reflective is more accurate),
  • intuitive and
  • stereotypically female.

Men need Yin spaces to balance and restore themselves

Man caves are dark, quiet, reflective and intuitive. A Yin space.

The décor of a man cave, or its equivalent, usually consists of sports memorabilia, college mementos, auto or motorcycle dreams. What you may think of as kitsch or clutter. While this may look stereotypically masculine, these items are selected and placed with their hearts, not rational analysis. The décor is intuitive or Yin.

We restore and balance ourselves by going into the opposite state and environment. (I will leave the reasons for this to the neuroscientists and metaphysicians.)

Why is this important?

There are two reasons while there is a greater need for man caves today:

  1. In our disposable society, and with more complicated computer-based auto engines, there is less need and ability to do auto repairs, home repairs, make home-crafted items and the opportunities these gave for solitude. Unfortunately many men feel compelled to watch high-testosterone Yang sports (golf being an exception) on big-screen TV’s when in their man caves and miss out reflection and renewal.
  2. Because decorating usually falls to women the result is the unconscious feminization of our homes and home décor. There is nothing wrong with the feminine in décor, but when there is little to no masculine or Yang elements in a space there is a lack of balance and men especially will feel unconsciously uncomfortable. (Click to Read How to Balance Yin and Yang/Female and Male in your Master Bedroom)

An Ideal Feng Shui Man Cave

  • It is in a quiet(er) part of the house
  • It is dark or has the ability to be darkened, i.e., light-blocking window treatments
  • It has lamps positioned next to his favorite chair and any craft or activity area.  Avoid too much darkness, which is not restorative.
  • It has a stereo system for listening to music, book shelves for books, magazines and display. A table or desk for creative or manual work. Or whatever will make this a restorative man cave and not just a dark TV room.
  • This is where the man in your life expresses himself. This is where logic, good taste and order may be lacking from your point-of-view. But “good taste” and organization is not the purpose of this space. This is his domain for reflection, relaxation and renewal.

Contact Linda To bring the benefits of Feng Shui into your home and your life.

photo of man cave by DDfic
photo of yin and yang symbol by MAMJODH

Women-Only Stress-Buster: Create Spaces to Tend and Befriend

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Create Spaces for Stress-Busting Time with Friends

No doubt about it, we are living in stressful times. A UCLA study, coauthored by Laura Cousino Klein, Ph.D, describes the unique ways women respond to stress. Women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just “fight or flight.” When women are stressed their brains produce oxytocin, which calms and creates an urge to “tend and befriend.” When women are able to care for others or spend time with their friends this response is increased. While estrogen enhances this effect, the testosterone that men produce hinders this response; unfortunately this is a woman-only phenomenon. Women! set-up Stress-buster spaces in your home for girls-only time for support and fun.

four diverse women laughing together, stress-buster
When stressed, women reach out to their female friends. Create a welcoming feng shui space for sharing and mutual stress busting.

Interestingly, more and more people are networking for new jobs, new contacts and mutual support. Many women are online networking, face-to-face networking at professional events, and “getting together with the girls” for informal social support and relaxation.
 
 
 
 

Here are three ways you can improve your home to support these activities:

Create a Calm and Focused Workspace

Whether you are using your computer for a job search, social media contacts (LinkedIn or Facebook), or simply emailing friends and colleagues to keep in touch and your ear to the ground, you need a designated space for you and your computer. If you have your own home office – Great! If not, claim your space – you deserve it – you need it. Too often my women clients “make do.” Set up a desk in an underused guest room or dining room.  Wherever you are working should be reasonably organized. Aim for ease and order, not perfection. Minimize distractions. Put up a “Woman at Work” sign if need be. Studies show that when distracted, people are 50% less efficient and make 50% more errors. This means, working on your laptop while watching TV is counter-productive. Make sure you have good lighting for your desk – ceiling mounted lights are inadequate – you need a lamp on your work surface with a “warm white” light bulb.

Assess, Organize and Play with Your Wardrobe

If you are going to any professional networking events the unspoken standard is “professional dress.” Suits or other professional wear will have you looking your best and feel confident. Confidence about your looks is a powerful stress-buster. Now is a great time to go through your wardrobe and find those things that make you feel fabulous when you are wearing them. Check clothes and accessories for fit, needed repairs, and if the style expresses who you are now. Doing a deep decluttering of your closet and bureau, you will rediscover some lost treasures as well as things you can let go. Now the fun part: play around with different combinations of clothes and accessories to see if you can create new looks. Add a belt to an outfit you have never belted before. A different pair of shoes can jazz-up an ensemble. Try things on and mentally plan what you can wear before an event. Now, when you walk into a roomful of new people, you know you look smashing.

“Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women. We push them right to the back burner. That’s really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have un-pressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they’re with other women. It’s a very healing experience. ” – Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of “Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls and Women’s Friendships” (Three Rivers Press, 1998).

Make a Stress-Buster Space for Girls’ Night-In

Girls’ night-out is fun, but can stress your budget. How about a pot luck girls’ night-in, or simply coffee and tea with a sweet, or wine and something savory. Keep the menu simple. The focus is time with friends, not the food. If it is a potluck, kick your family out of the kitchen for the duration. If it is coffee or drinks with simple nibbles then commander the living room, or a sunroom or patio. Claim a space and make it comfortable: to kick back and share and laugh and have fun. An architectural psychology tip: to create connection choose cozy over formal, crowded over spread out.

One of the key concepts of both Feng Shui and Architectural Psychology is that creating space for a task, activity or goal supports your intentions, both energetically and psychologically. Create space to make your life and your goals easier.

photo by Bee Wolf Ray