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Feng Shui Holiday Spirit: Give Experiences Instead of “Stuff” This Holiday Season

Stuck in Back Bay traffic last week, (it was the Speedo Santa 5K Run – don’t ask) I saw a sign on a church “Live the Gift”, which I misread as “Give Life.” This is what I have been thinking during this hyped holiday shopping season. This time of year all the joy of the season gets trampled by the frenzy of shopping, holiday performances and obligatory social events. Instead of fighting the crowds at the mall give experiences that can be renewed during the doldrums of January and February. “Give Life” Experiences, they make the best memories. Sometimes it is good to have mild dyslexia.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” – Cesare Pavese

Hot cocoa makes the best memories

The most powerful moments are the shared simple ones, not the big bang of going to Disney World or on a cruise. Instead of “stuff” that too quickly becomes clutter or big events that become endurance trials, give those you love the gift of you, your time and attention.

Write out a “gift certificate” or coupon with your gift written out. You can include a copy of the cookie or pizza recipe, a mini candy cane, a list of videos, a copy of the book to be read together, or a map of the hike path (even hand drawn is great). Include a date for the shared time together or at least an expiration date and follow-up to make time together, soon.

Here are some ideas for memorable shared moments:

Making cookies or pizza together in the kitchen
Bird watching or a hike together in the woods
Spend an afternoon at your local museum or historical site.
Snow is for more than shoveling – build a snowman or have a snowball fight.
Have REAL hot cocoa (not from a mix) with peppermint sticks or mini-marshmallows to warm up with afterward.
Find a hill and sled down – if you don’t have a snow sled or saucer improvise with a plastic trash can lid or a big piece of corrugated cardboard. Improvising adds to the fun and memories.
Read aloud from a favorite book – Harry Potter or Little Women can fill many a cold and dreary afternoon or evening.
Purchase admission to a class or lecture on a topic of interest that you share with a friend or family member. Go together, learn and have great fun.
Rent or borrow from the library some great classic videos and enjoy with homemade popcorn. Add grated parmesan cheese and/or cayenne pepper to your hot popcorn.
Have tea/coffee and chat with a good friend at a pastry shop or at your place. (It is OK to buy your delicacies rather than make from scratch.) The main thing is relaxed time together with your friend to catch-up.

What do you do to create shared moments with family and friends? The goal is connection with the people who are important to you, not a perfect event.

photo by gail at the pink peppercorn

Cultivating the Seed of Happiness

“In Buddhist texts, consciousness is said to be a field, a plot of land in which every kind of seed has been planted – seeds of suffering, happiness, joy, sorrow, fear, anger, and hope. The quality of our life depends on which of these seeds we water. The practice of mindfulness is to recognize each seed as it sprouts and to water the most wholesome seeds whenever possible.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

I came across this quote recently. It has stuck in my mind so much that I just have to write about it this month. You don’t have to be a Buddhist to know that focusing on happiness, joy and hope is better than focusing on sorrow, fear and anger. But as Americans we add our own twist on this positive outlook. We want bigger, better and faster or we won’t be happy. And if we work really hard, we will have this kind of happiness – in the future. What happens is many of us overlook the blessings of the present moment while we are straining to see into the future.

As a Feng Shui consultant, I encourage my clients to have images and symbols of what they are striving for in the appropriate area of the Ba-Gua. This is best balanced with connections to the present.

I encourage you to have reminders of what you are grateful for in the present around you.
Are you grateful for family and friends? Have photos of them nearby. (I suggest that you have current photos as well as older ones.)
Are you grateful for good health? Place a plant where you can enjoy one of the miracles of life.
Are you blessed with your faith or a spiritual teacher? Have a photo, statue or written blessing where you can see it.

One of my teachers, Denise Linn, suggests the best place for these mementos is on your bedside table or near your bed. Place them so they are the first thing you see in the morning – to create a positive and mindful mindset for the day – and see the last thing at night – to set the stage for sweet dreams.

I have photos of my family near my bed. Recently I added a picture of my late mother taken on a hot air balloon ride we did on her 80^th birthday. Her joy in that moment radiates from the picture.

What kinds of reminders of your blessings do you have around you? Let me know and I will share them with my readers next month.

photo by the yes man

Stress-Reducing Lighting for Your Office

Your office space has a direct impact on focus and productivity. Learn simple changes that make a profound effect on how you feel and function in your work place. Bring some LIIFE into your office for big impact using lighting, plants and workflow organization.

LIIFE is Lighting, Information flow, Inspiration, Feng Shui, and Elements of Nature.

Lighting

Work is stressful enough. No one needs to have their work environment add to this. A client of mine was troubled by severe migraines at work. We set her up with lamps with incandescent bulbs and minimized the overhead fluorescents. Her migraines disappeared.

Two lamps on a desk — Light your work space wisely

If you are working under acres of fluorescent panels or just one fixture, this can cause eye fatigue and headaches. The solution: a 60 watt incandescent light bulb. How can a simple Edison light bulb help? Fluorescent lighting, and this includes an “energy-saver” or compact fluorescent bulb, operates by flicker. Usually you only notice it when a tube is dying. The light flickers 60 times per second, as the fluorescent gas is “excited” by the pulsing 60 cycle per second electric current. When fluorescent lighting was invented in the 1920’s it was thought that 60 times a second was too fast for the eye to see. Recent research has discovered that the human eye-brain connection can see 50-80 times a second. Therefore you subconsciously “see” the flicker of the fluorescent light.

By placing a single lamp on your desk with a 60 watt incandescent bulb you will have a constant source of light on your work area, and this will counter-balance or minimize the flicker effect. I recommend a table lamp rather than a “desk” lamp. You want a translucent shade that creates a warm pool of light on your work area. Avoid a desk lamp with an opaque shade that creates a sharp line between light and dark on your desktop; that alone is a prescription for eye fatigue.

As a bonus, the combination of the “warm” color of incandescent light and the “cool” color of fluorescent light makes an approximation of full-spectrum light.

A simple change can have profound effects. Try this for yourself. You will be delighted by the improvement it makes.

photo by newchaos

The Home Altar: A Place to Re-Connect to Your Spiritual Self

An altar is a place for spiritual reflection, a focal point for remembrance or gratitude.

I often see altars of one kind or another in client’s homes. They may be as simple as a cluster of family photos, a statue or picture of a deity or religious teacher, a devotional book on a small table, or a vase of flowers. I am always touched how much these spaces mean to my clients. I would like to share some thoughts about how you can create an altar in your home or garden that reflects the deepest part of you.

In China altars to the family gods or ancestors were often placed in the kitchen – the heart of the home. Today, it is not unusual to see an altar in a place of honor in Asian restaurants.

“…the primary function of altars and shrines has been to provide sacred and holy places amid ordinary life.” – Denise Linn.

A wonderful book that will inspire you to explore having an altar or special place in your home is Altars: Bringing Sacred Shrines into Your Everyday Life by Denise Linn. Denise is a woman of deep connection to heaven and earth who draws on many spiritual traditions. She is one of my favorite teachers. Her book is filled with beautiful color photos of altars and dedicated spaces and many creative ideas on how to create and use a home altar.

Denise Lin writes about “subliminal altars.” This may be a grouping of personal treasures that remind you of the people, places and events that you love most. It can be family photos, both old and new; heirlooms to remind us of where we come from and who came before us; or beautiful objects, natural and manmade, that touch our souls.

Conscious altars are for meditation or spiritual exercises. It is a sacred space in the midst of our everyday lives. It is a reminder to connect with the sacred within and around us. It is a site for celebration and manifestation. When an altar is consciously created with love and attention it can be a reminder of what we are seeking.

The objects on an altar “give form to the formless” according to Denise Linn. The images on the altar and their personal meaning are imprinted on your subconscious which has a powerful influence on our feelings. The physical objects represent a belief, idea or relationship. They touch the inner knowing, the inner spirit within us all.

When time is spent at your altar meditating, praying, lighting a candle or incense or simply touching the objects placed there, that space accumulates positive energy. Any ritual you may do at your altar connects you with all the beings, past and present, who have done similar rituals. You are not alone.

Denise Linn writes about many kinds of altars, among them are altars for healing – physically, emotionally and spiritually; life-transition altars – recognizing that life change is not a single event, but a process that needs time to unfold; and manifestation altars – a space to seek deeper clarity on your dreams. Once you have this clarity, then you can place objects and pictures on the altar that represent your wishes.

Where to put your altar? It can be in a quiet place where you can be undisturbed. One client had her altar in an emptied closet. Another had hers in the bedroom overlooking a still lake. The altar itself can be a small table, shelf, or a desk or bureau top.

A funny thing happened on the way to finishing this article. I inspired myself! I jumped up from my computer and rearranged some photos in my bedroom and added a few new things. Grouping together images of those I love the most and making that collection a conscious altar gives a whole new meaning to those objects for me.

Although Denise’s book Altars: Bringing Sacred Shrines into Your Everyday Life is out of print, it is available at Amazon.com.

Be a friend and share this article with a friend.

Lighting the Holiday Table Brings People Together

The best part of the holidays is reconnecting with those you love most.

Enhance people-to-people connection by lighting your dining table

Think of the glowing faces of family and friends around your table. Fine-tuning your lighting can create this powerful bonding environment.

Lighting the holiday table is more than mere illumination. Feng Shui tells us light is a form of energy. Interior Psychology points out that human beings are drawn to light and avoid the dark. Lighting is a powerful tool for bringing people together – if you know how to use it.

Think of the archetypal camp fire and how it invites everyone to gather ‘round. It’s in that circle we make eye contact and strengthen our deepest connections. Gathering at the holiday table (no matter its shape) is the place for such connections.

Enhance connections with the people you love most by bringing light to the center of your dining table: pendant light, chandelier or cluster of candles.

– Dim light around the edges of the room will enhance this feeling and gather people together.
– Recessed ceiling lights alone give a room all the warmth of a hotel lobby.
– Not only does this work for the holidays, it works for any time your family gathers for a meal.

Want help creating a home that helps friends and family connect with each other? Contact me

What part of your holiday table (besides the food ;-D ) makes you the happiest? Share your ideas in the comments below.

photo by thskyt

Feng Shui and the Power of Photos: Tap into their Chi

As you may know, I believe personal mementos can be powerful Feng Shui cures. During a consultation, when I ask a client “Tell me about this [photo/painting/knick-knack]” and their face lights-up, I know I have just witnessed their personal Chi rise. Raising or enhancing your personal Chi is an important part of what Feng Shui cures do for you.

Feng Shui family photo with positive chi. — Love, joy and Chi radiate from this family photo. These are the kind of photos that energize the Chi of a space as well as your personal Chi.

While traditional Feng Shui cures are great, personal treasures with powerful positive emotional associations and energetic impact are your best cures. They may already be in your home simply waiting to be discovered.

This article will briefly explore:

The Power of photos and personal mementos
The importance of up-to-date photos to celebrate your current blessings, and
How to use the energy of the past and present to enhance the future.

In some clients’ homes I will see delightful photos of family, friends, and special places, but these photos are from years ago. When I ask if they have any current photos, I may get a genuinely puzzled response. Honoring the past is important, but you also need to actively celebrate you current blessings in the form of photos and mementos of the people, places and events you love the most.

Chi expresses itself in space and time. The Chi that radiates-off mementos of the past combined with the Chi connected to reminders of your blessings in the present creates a powerful energetic momentum for blessings in the future. I am NOT suggesting you turn your home into a gallery of photos or museum of mementos, but be conscious of having reminders of your present life blessings where you can see them and be aware.

As the holidays approach, this is a great time to plan for snapshots of your favorite people and events. Then, make sure to get those pictures out of your camera and off your computer to a local or online photo developer and display them!

On a personal note – I am on the hunt for a frame for a great photo of my brother and sister-in-law taken on a day trip to Santa Barbara. I look forward to again seeing their happy faces on that day.

photo by fuzzysaurus

Living Room and Family Room Furniture Placement: Close the Gap and Avoid Shouting Distance

“A number of relatives whom I love dearly suffer from progressive hearing loss significant enough to require the speaker to shout. I find it nearly impossible to do this when carrying on a conversation without sounding harsh and without my sentiments eventually changing to match my voice. How do I maintain a conversational tone when speaking at top decibel.”

The above was a letter to a Boston Globe etiquette advice columnist. The writer brilliantly identified the problem: that when she had to shout to be heard, her emotions soon followed with harsh feelings.

While you may not have relatives with significant hearing loss, the wrong arrangement of furniture in a gathering room can have the same effect – people shouting at each other with voices and feelings becoming harsh.

Architectural Psychology has studied this phenomenon and measured what is the ideal distance, face-to-face, for relaxed conversation. It is 2-4 feet, the measurement nose-to-nose, or more significantly eye-to-eye and ear-to-ear. Beyond that distance you will have to stretch your voice and energy to connect. And then you wonder why everyone avoids that room, or why television watching is the only activity in that space.

An example is the photo at right which shows a couple seated on park benches too far apart for easy conversation. The woman in the photo is sitting on the edge of her seat and leaning forward in an attempt to bridge the interpersonal distance between herself and the man.

Most people reflexively place their furniture against the walls. This is often shown in decorating magazines and television shows with the thought this makes the room look larger. What is lost is a sense of connection and coziness. But furniture, even in smaller homes, should be arranged for ease of conversation. Ideally, cluster your furniture for relaxed speaking and good eye contact when you gather with friends and family.

Working with a client I reconfigured her sectional sofa, so the seats – and her family members – faced each other, instead of the television. She was extremely happy with the significant improvement in family interactions this simple change created.
Another client told me moving her son’s favorite chair 18 inches brought him into the family conversational circle and a greater sense of inclusion in her family – and no was aware of his feeling of being on the periphery until after the change.
The solution can be as simple as moving chairs and sofas 6 inches closer to each other.
Or you may need to “float” a conversational grouping in the room – and anchor it in relation to a fireplace or window.

Photo by clairity