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Chinese New Year Resolutions: Modern Psychology for Success

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Gung Hoi Fat Choi – Happy Chinese New Year

oragami dragon
Chinese New Year Resolutions. Re-energize your resolutions and Feng Shui intentions

Use Chinese New Year for a fresh start.

Chinese New Year is a time to feast on traditional foods. Chinese New Year Resolutions is an opportunity to re-energize and re-formulate those January 1st resolutions that are running out of steam. New Years is also a great time to review and renew your Feng Shui intentions.

Because Feng Shui is an ever-growing art and science we can use the insights of modern psychology and philosophy to make more effective intentions. Richard Holton, a philosopher at MIT with more than a decade studying choices, decisions and willpower has the following insights:

Tips for Powerful, Effective Resolutions:

  • Making resolutions without specific actions will make you feel good about yourself, but will not change your behavior or give you the outcomes you desire.

    Make resolutions that are specific, with positive do-able action steps that can become part of your routine. And then do them.  Instead of saying “I will lose weight this year.” say “I will eat no more than X grams of carbs a day for healthy weight loss” or, “I will exercise x times a week to achieve a healthy weight of XXX pounds.”

  • Once made, don’t overthink your resolutions.

    “You can sabotage even the most effective resolution by indulging your thinking mind and rethinking it too soon and too often.” says Holton.

    A good resolution is a rule we make for ourselves and follow. It is a choice made that eliminates other choices,

    and the chances to talk yourself out of doing something. If you are on a low-carb diet overthinking can lead you to rationalizing a pasta dinner to yourself with “it won’t ruin my diet.”

  • If a resolution is difficult to keep ask yourself what is getting in the way.

    Look deeper into your motives, emotions and rationalizations. You can gain some positive learning from a “failed” resolution. If you can’t stick to a low-carb diet ask yourself what is preventing this? Do carbs boost your mood? Do you crave sweet carbs? Is this the right diet for you? Are you really motivated to lose weight at this time?

Learn more about psychology and resolutions and intentions with Why Your Subconscious Sabotages You & How to Use Psychology to Craft Successful Resolutions.

Celebrate the New Year with Traditional Foods

Eat a juicy orange-color citrus fruit (orange, tangerine, or clementine). The orange color of the fruit symbolizes gold which represents wealth. The sweetness of the fruit establishes a sweet year for you. If you are on that low-carb diet, eat fish, which symbolizes prosperity.

If you want to learn how to use Feng Shui Intentions to improve your life, contact me for a personal consultation.

photo by Brett Jordan

How to Have The Best Feng Shui: Express Yourself and Raise Your Chi

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I say this to my Feng Shui clients: The best kind of home is one that expresses who you are and what you love. And as a bonus, when you personalize the decoration of your home, you raise your Chi – whether you are Feng Shui-ing your home or not.

“I see it every day: People trying to create a home that somebody else tells them they should have….if it doesn’t represent you, you’re not going to be happy. Take a beat and say ’Is this something I want to live with, or am I just buying it because I saw it on a TV show?’ ” – Nate Berkus, interior designer, television host and author.

“… your home should not be a presentation to your friends. Surroundings should relate to who you are, what you love, and to what you deem important in life.” – George Lois , mass media expert and advertising provocateur – just don’t say he is the original Don Draper of Mad Men.

Is your home decorated or staged? Feng Shui uses home decoration/interior design as a vehicle to enhance and balance Chi. But if you are looking for inspiration to create a home with warmth on television, in magazines or online you will be challenged. Two clients I worked with recently were using what they saw in the media, unedited, as the template for the decoration of their living rooms. One followed a theme décor right down to the objects on her coffee table. It was beautiful, but none of it expressed who she was. Another client was inspired by a photo to have deep teal walls. It was beautiful in the photo, but would not work with the rug she wanted to use in her living room. Both clients were open to my suggestions: one to personalize her space and the second about why the teal wall worked in the photo but not in her living room, and what alternative she could use to compliment her rug and get a similar effect as in the photo.

What you see in the media are staged rooms. Not rooms for people to live in. Take time to look at the entire photo and see what elements are working together. Then figure out if it will work for you:

  • Does the room that inspires you have higher ceilings than yours?
  • How big are the windows in relation to the size of the room?
  • Do the colors work with the colors of your rug or sofa (unless you will be getting new everything)?
  • Be aware that a bold color on the screen or the page will look and feel very different when room-size.
  • Where can you place or display your personal treasures? Will they work with the photo décor?
  • Is the lighting adequate for how you want to use the space?
  • Could you really live in the space in the picture or does it represent a dream lifestyle that is not yours?

Trust your instincts and take the inspirations you see and adapt them to make them your own.

When I work with a client, I like to use their personal treasures as Feng Shui cures whenever possible. When I see a photo, painting, or memento I ask them “Please, tell me about this.” When I see their face light up as they describe where they got it, who gave it to them or who or what it reminds them of, then I am literally seeing their personal Chi rise. This response indicates that this object is a very powerful cure. I then collaborate with them about where is the best place to put this cure, relating to the theme of the picture or the emotional association of the object.

Sometimes I work with a client who has few or no personal treasures in their home. Sometimes they will say that a piece of art is a “place saver.”  Life is too short to surround yourself with anonymous art. If you don’t have an emotional connection to something, at least have something that makes you catch your breath when you first see it – that you love for the sheer beauty of it. (This sudden inhale is also a sign of rising personal Chi.)

This rise in personal Chi occurs even if you are not consciously seeing or connecting with this memento of the people, places and events that have positive and nourishing meaning to your life.

Have you decorated your home according to someone else’s idea of “good taste” or the “latest trend”? If so, it is not your home, it is their home.  Express yourself through your treasures. Re-claim your home.

If you doubt your taste or instincts remember: If you are happy with your home, your guests will be happy. Personalize your space.

What have you displayed in your home to help you remember the people, places and events that warm your heart?  I would love to hear from you. Share them as a comment, below.

Feng Shui: Private Intentions are More Powerful Intentions

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Intentions are an important aspect of Feng Shui cures. The physical object or cure is simply a vehicle for your intention. I have written about how to make your intentions more powerful. Check this out.

stairway to the sky, feng shui intentions

When novelists are asked what they are working on, some say they don’t like to talk about current projects. They have a deep awareness of intention and the creative process: “you can either talk about it, or you can do it.” Note: any intention is a creative process.

Modern psychology has recently documented that private intentions are more likely to be achieved and the thinking behind this phenomenon. A recent article in Lifehacker  describes how your brain handles intentions. Please note: when I am talking about intentions, I mean active (not passive) plans to reach your goals. When you talk about your intention with others your brain processes this talk the same way it does action, the result is a “premature sense of completeness.” Your brain can’t tell the difference in the “identity symbols” that make up your self-image between talk and action. Your brain is satisfied and you don’t act, or need to act, on your goals.

We have all heard about the self-styled writer who has spent a lifetime talking about his/her great novel, but hasn’t sat down and written it. Another example is talking about going on a diet, rather than simply doing it.

It feels counter-intuitive to keep intentions and goals to ourselves – we are encouraged to seek and share support – but staying quiet about your intentions and focusing on the actions that will reach your goal will allow your brain to support you rather than sabotage you.

Private intentions are successful intentions. As the slogan says: “Just do it.”

PS – It’s OK to ask for help with specific steps toward your goal as your work to achieve them. Just don’t get caught in the trap of thinking about it, talking about it and not doing it.

photo by ClaraDon

What are your thoughts on  and experiences with intentions?  Share your comments below. Thanks!

Feng Shui Cures: 3 Factors for Success & the Myth of the One Best Cure

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Sometimes people ask me “what Feng Shui cure should I use in my – romance area?, – wealth area?, – career area?” The short answer is there is no short answer.   Some Feng Shui books make very specific recommendations; I call this “cookie-cutter Feng Shui”.  In the best Feng Shui one cure does not fit all situations.

 Three factors determine the best Feng Shui cures for you: 

Starbucks Japan
Starbucks Japan: A caffeinated place for caffeinated people?
  1. The energy of the space or room,
  2. The energy of the cure,
  3. The energy of the people or person using the room.

1. The Energy of the Space

 Some rooms feel “calm”, some feel “upbeat”, some feel “chaotic”, and some feel “heavy.” Calm rooms are usually uncluttered and well-organized with simple decoration. Upbeat rooms are also well-organized and are abundant with decoration. “Chaotic” rooms are frequently cluttered and disorganized. “Heavy” rooms are usually crowded with unused/unloved things.

Start with de-cluttering if the room needs it. The best Feng Shui cures in the world are less effective in a cluttered or disorganized space. Then decide if you want to create a calm or energized room depending on what you want to do in that space. A bedroom should be calmer than a family room. A home office is usually calmer than a creative studio space.

2. The Energy of the Cure 

starbucks amsterdam
Starbucks Amsterdam - Quieter space for quieter people

Some Feng Shui books tell you to use a specific cure for a particular part of the ba-gua or compass direction. This is not wrong, but is overly literal and limiting.  An unlit purple candle in the Wealth area (correct Ba-Gua color) has less energy than a healthy plant or a crystal in a sunlit window in that same Wealth area.

Chi is energy. You want to use cures that have their own energy: light, color, sound, movement and living things that bring their energy into the room. Personal mementos that remind you of the people, places and events that you love most work as cures by lifting your own energy, consciously or unconsciously.

3. The Energy of the People who use the Space – and What They Plan to Do There.

One way you can figure out your personal energy level is to note what kind of coffee shop you like to hang out in. Do you like to enjoy your latte in a café with a pulsing sound system and a lot of background noise? Or do you gravitate to a coffee shop with softer music and lighting and acoustics that dampen background noise?

Some people are very high-energy, others are mellow.  Match the energy of the space to the energy of the person.

A quiet room may be experienced by a high-energy person as boring and they will become restless, while a quieter person will feel comfortable. A room with lots of stimulation (light, colors, sound, and movement) will be a great match for a high-energy person, but will be overwhelming and fatiguing for a quieter person causing them to “shut-down.”

When you are seeking to balance the energy of someone, individualized fine-tuning is necessary to create rooms to help your personal energizer bunny chill out, or motivate and activate your laid-back introvert.

Choose one of the Nine Cures which is the right fit for you and your space.  Tune into your intuition to guide you. Try out a cure and see how the room and you feel. If it is not quite right, try another cure.

The bottom line: there is no one “right” cure. What may work for your best friend or the author of a book may not be the best solution for you and your space.

What kind of space works best for you?

Japan photo by Kengo Kuma and Associates. Amsterdam photo by Rien Meulma

Feng Shui and No More Anonymous Art

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I encourage my Feng Shui clients to use art and personal treasures as cures. But “anonymous” or generic art does not have the energetic impact of art and photos with personal meaning.

When I was a college student I was invited by a friend to her birthday party, hosted by poet Donald Hall in his home. At that time I was clueless about Donald Hall and his work. As I rang the doorbell I glanced into the foyer and spied a Last Supper on black velvet painting on the wall. With all of my youthful superiority I thought: “what bad taste!”  I was warmly welcomed in by a very gracious Professor Hall. During the party I noticed a Roy Lichtenstein pop art silk screen on the wall and a small Henry Moore sculpture on the coffee table. When I mentioned them he smiled and modestly related the personal story attached to each. What I learned was the importance of art with personal meaning. And… the “good taste police” should have a sense of humor.

best feng shui cures, child's drawing
Homemade art, candid photographs and personal treasures make the best Feng Shui cures.

Recently I have worked with several Feng Shui clients who have filled their walls with “anonymous art.” The kind of framed wall decorations you can find at Home Goods or Target. This is not bad art, it just generic art lacking any life to it or personal meaning. 

One client had nothing representing her family or special someone.  I mentioned this to her and she said she had lots of photos, but they were on her computer. Does this sound familiar? When she showed me her pictures I was bowled over: Great snapshots of the two of them and beautiful photos of a trip to Europe. She had never thought of the treasures she had hidden on her computer. She selected her favorite photos to have printed and framed, and remind her of the people, places and events she loves best.

What heart-warming photos do you have buried in your computer? Pick out your favorites and have them made into prints. You can burn the photo files onto a disc or zip drive (your 11 year old can show you) and take them to your local drugstore or photo shop. Or upload them to one of the online photo services. If you want to fine tune your pictures you can edit them on free photo software like Picasa. I found it great for cropping out parked cars in the foreground of my London vacation pictures, or to zoom in on a people picture for a close-up (no one’s knees are that attractive. 😉 )  For professional quality developing check out photopipe.com.

If none of your photos are frame-worthy, then look at online art and photograph sites like Art.com, iStockphoto or National Geographic for something that speaks to you.

You deserve better than empty walls or anonymous space fillers. Just do it!

My own to-do: enlarge and frame a snapshot from my mother’s 80th birthday hot air balloon ride!

Update: I had the enlargement printed and framed. It greets me every morning as I wake-up and reminds me of the true treasures of my life.

photo by The Paessels