Have a Warm and Cozy Bed This Winter the Eco-Friendly Way

January 22, 2023 by Linda Varone

Winter is here, but high fuel costs are too. When the thermostat goes down, a good night’s sleep can be elusive if you feel cold. Electric blankets are an option, but personally, I’ve never felt good about sleeping under an electric field. Here are three simple, do-able ways to winterize for a warm and cozy bed. Now, what’s old is new again in making a warm and cozy bed for these cold winter nights.

Solutions for a Warm and Cozy Bed

Simple, Green solutions from our ancestors and modern Europeans show us how to make a warm and cozy bed for these freezing winter nights.

Hot water bottles -what’s old is new again.
Flannel Sheets – with recommendations for the best brands.
Duo Duvets – one each for you and your partner.

1. Hot Water Bottles

Bright green thermoplastic hot water bottle with "turtle neck" cover makes for a warm and cozy bed. — This green thermoplastic hot water bottle will keep you warm all night long.

You may think of hot water bottles as a joke, something an old spinster aunt in a British mystery would use. Don’t laugh; they can be more effective than a pile of blankets. Any outdoors person knows: When your feet are warm, your whole body is warm.

You can get a standard rubber model or one of the new recyclable thermoplastic ones in a bright color. They are available at most drug stores or online.

A hot water bottle cover is a good idea as it lets the heat disperse slowly and keeps you warm all night. The covers come in many colors and patterns, some with fanciful decorations, and others look like little turtleneck sweaters for your hot water bottle. Find these on Etsy.

Tip: Never place a hot water bottle in a microwave.

2. Flannel Sheets

If you’ve ever slipped between flannel sheets, you know the warm and cozy bed welcome they provide.

My experience with flannel sheets is with LL Bean’s Ultrasoft Flannel Sheets. No bedtime shock from cold sheets, just warmth, and coziness. Named by The New York Times’s “Wirecutter” product evaluation team as their #1 choice. “Wirecutter’s” budget pick is Target’s Threshold Flannel Sheets, judged better than some of the more expensive brands.

LL Bean also has flannel duvet covers which can help with the next solution.

3. Duo Duvets

Colorful comforter on double bed covering duo duvets looks like a warm and cozy bed. — This bright comforter adds color to a bed with duo duvets for a comfortable night for two.

Suppose a nightly blanket tug-of-war with your partner makes good sleep impossible, or you have the dilemma of your shared bedcovering being too hot for one partner and inadequate for the other. The Danish Duo Duvet is the answer.

The Danish Duo Duvet is two twin-size duvets for a Full or Queen bed. (If you have a King-size bed, you may need two Full-size duvets.) Each one is for the temperature preferences of each partner. One duvet can be lightweight and cool, while the other is heavier and warmer. The Duo Duvets make for a warm and cozy bed like Goldilock’s: “just right.”

Photo showing how duo duvets are placed on a bed. — This photo shows how duo duvets are arranged on a bed before nighttime.

Take two duvets and fold them in half the long way and place them lengthwise on the bed with the folded sides next to each other in the center of the bed. Or, you can lay them out flat and overlap each other in the center of the bed.

If your duvet covers are plain, you can cover the bottom half of your bed with a colorful spread or comforter, as shown above.

At bedtime, shake out your own duvet and snuggle underneath.

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Click here to learn more about how to survive winter

If you have tried any of these solutions, let me know how they have worked for you in the comments below.

Your Quarantine Home: A Video

September 18, 2020 by Linda Varone

I am happy to share my video with you on how to create a home to help you survive the COVID pandemic.

In late June of this year, I did a Zoom webinar on how to set-up your quarantine home to survive the pandemic necessity of extended at-home time. The webinar is now available on YouTube.

The Quarantine Home video is based on the insights of interior psychology and neuroscience. It is about 46 minutes long, illustrated with many photos, examples, and contains a variety of practical ideas.
• Where and how to set up a comfortable and productive home office.
• Simple steps to create welcoming gathering spaces for family meals and relaxation.
• Create boundaries between work and personal time with simple rituals.
• How to socially distance and have fun outdoors.
• Ways to promote a good night’s sleep.

This presentation was sponsored by Plugged-In @ The Robbins (Library) and is posted on ACMI’s (Arlington Community Media Inc.) Youtube channel. The smiling woman you see on the screen at the beginning of the video is Michele Meagher, Coordinator of Plugged-In @ the Robbins. I show up at about 3:25.

To view the video, click here.

Full disclosure: This was my first Zoom presentation. I was not only camera shy but had a bit of mic-fright. So my voice is soft and slow … and I forgot to smile. You can go to the gear icon on the bottom right hand of the screen and click on “playback speed” and set it for 1.25. It speeds up the audio and the video (and makes me sound more intelligent) ;-).

I hope you enjoy the Quarantine Home video. Let me know what you think in the comments below. Planning to do more videos in the future and am working to make them better and better.

If you would like to contact me for a personal consultation or to offer this or other presentations to your group or organization please contact me here.

Slimmer by Kitchen Design: Good Design to Avoid Overeating

January 13, 2017 by Linda Varone

A Messy Cluttered Kitchen Leads to Overeating. How Kitchen Design and Set-up Helps

kitchen design, cluttered kitchen — Kitchen design: A messy cluttered kitchen undermines the best diet. Note: This is NOT my kitchen.

If you’re like me decluttering and/or dieting is on your perennial To Do List.

If your motivation for either one is running out of steam, see how a study at Cornell University proves that your environment influences how much and what you eat. Insightful kitchen design and setup can help you eat wisely.

Kitchen Design and Stress Eating

Diet programs tell you to get rid of any foods in your kitchen not allowed by the program. This makes sense, no tempting high-calorie foods around. But overeating is about more than what food is in your cabinets.

The Set-up of Your Kitchen Influences How Much and What You Eat

The Cornell study created two kitchens, one neat and one messy. Messy meaning mail, newspapers and dirty dishes scattered about. Note: these are non-food items. Snacks of cookies, crackers, and carrots were provided in both the neat and cluttered kitchens. The subjects (women) were divided into two groups: one for the neat kitchen and one for the messy kitchen. Half of the women were given a stress-inducing task while in the assigned kitchen. (In real life, when are you ever NOT stressed?)

The stressed women in the cluttered kitchen ate twice as many calories from cookies as the stressed women in the neat kitchen. The only difference was the neatness or messiness of the kitchen.

If you eat at your desk at work, a similar study demonstrated that subjects in a neat work environment ate a healthier snack (an apple) than subjects working in a cluttered work environment.

Lesson: Stress + Cluttered Environment = Eating more sweets.

Action: Declutter your kitchen and work space.

In the kitchen set up a place to process your mail, right over your paper recycle bin or shredder.
When you are busy, put dirty dishes in a sinkful of soapy water. This will get them one step closer to being cleaned or in the dishwasher, and put away. Train your family to help you with this.

Clear off the kitchen table and counter.

Declutter what is in your cabinets first, and decide if you really use it regularly.

How many times does a gadget or appliance seem like a good idea, but doesn’t really work for you?
Is something broken or replaced by a newer model?
Do you have duplicates?
Do you have a collection of cute mugs or cake pans you bought on a whim, but the thrill is gone.

Get rid of it.

Take a long, hard look at the appliances and stuff you have on your kitchen counters.

Do you really need the waffle iron out all the time?
How often do you use that big stand mixer?
The canisters for flour, sugar, salt are cute, but are they the best containers for your flour, sugar, salt?
Do you really use them all the time, and need them out on the counter?
Is your kitchen table a repository for mail, school work and magazines? Does this mess cause you to, by default, eat off the coffee table or a tray in front of the TV, instead of having a real family meal?

Things you use for formal or large gatherings a few times a year, go into a secondary storage place for them in the basement, that is organized and easy to access. Note: basement or attic storage is not a detour for things you need to let go of now.

Once your cabinets are decluttered. Declutter your counters and tables. What you really need you can now store in your now-spacious cabinets.

Do the same thing with your desk at home or the office.

Get rid of environmental stress with insightful kitchen design:

Clean up and declutter.
Support your calmer, slimmer self.

Click here for more. Decluttering as Art; Decluttering Haiku. Check out the wry haiku by Rachel Perry Welty

For personal insights on how to create a home, or office, that supports you and your goals contact me.

Comment below on what is the most challenging part of keeping your kitchen sane. I would love to hear from you.

Now excuse me while I tackle some dirty dishes. 😉

Writing Table: Solution to Computer Distractions – Learn How

October 24, 2016 by Linda Varone

Distractions are our #1 productivity destroyer.

Electronic devices – computers and cell phones – are our #1 distraction temptation. We are so accustomed to working electronically that we no longer think about working away from our electronic devices and their inherent distractions. A writing table creates a distraction-free space for work.

John Cleese, in his famous talk Creativity says:

“Creativity starts when you close your laptop.”

Take time to think and think on paper. The most successful online graphic artists say “start with paper.” Unless you are a journalist writing under deadline or Steven King typing 2000 first draft words a day, seven days a week, start on paper.

Why Think on Paper?

Neuroscientists have discovered the advantage of writing over typing: writing is a multi-sensory experience which accesses multiple areas of your brain, making it easier to tap into the creative right-side of your brain. Plus, on paper, you can jot quick sidebar notes as ideas pop into your head before they have found a place in your document or solution. Draw swooping arrows to connect random ideas into a logical order without loosing your train of thought. I write all my blog posts, articles and my second book (its in the works) at a table separate from my computer, and I find myself much more focused.

A writing desk is simply a cleared work surface with space to spread out your papers and think. NO COMPUTER.

Set Up your Home Office Writing Table to Avoid Electronic Distractions

Back away from your computer, now.

Use a second desk or writing table in your workspace. If you don’t have one, find one.
Use the decluttered leg of your L-shaped desk, the leg without your computer.
Set up a galley-style desk arrangment. Place a second desk or table behind where you sit at your desk. Swivel your chair 180 degrees and you are then sitting at your writing table.
Use your home office secret perk – A comfortable chair – with a lap desk. If your home office is also a guest room with a foldout sofa, use the sofa.
Be sure you have all the necessary additions, such as good ergonomics and good lighting.

A simple table serves your needs – a surface that is large enough to write on.

Your Brain Associates Places with Actions and Events.

Set-up and consistently use a writing table for your original work. With repeated use your mind will slip into creative mode easily when you are working there.

I have helped several clients recently with their home offices, and all have been thrilled with the results They are much happier working in their home offices now. Contact me today to set up a consultation to make your home office more comfortable, functional and fun.

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Master Bedroom Health – Prevent Sleep Deprivation, Diabetes, Obesity

August 8, 2016 by Linda Varone

Master Bedroom Health – Lack of Sleep May Cause Diabetes, Obesity, Hypertension and Accelerated Aging

The evidence is piling up: lack of sufficient sleep may contribute to diabetes, obesity and heart disease say 60 Minutes and the New York Times.

You can support or sabotage your health by the way you set-up your bedroom.

master bedroom health - Get a good night's sleep — Master Bedroom Health – set-up your bedroom for a good night’s sleep

Sleep Deprivation Impacts All Age Groups

You are familiar with the crankiness of an overtired baby, school age children react by being hyperactive or “wired”, teens tend to get poorer grades, be moody and depressed (its not just raging hormones). As a sleep-deprived adult you will have difficulty thinking fast, reacting quickly and remembering things. You will make poorer judgments and have a tendency to drop off to sleep while attending a movie, a concert, or even while driving.

Poor Sleep, Hormones and Hunger: The Negative Hormone Response

Medically, lack of sufficient sleep causes:

Your body to metabolize sugar inefficiently because insulin production is inhibited – a factor in Type 2 Diabetes.
A decrease in leptin production in the brain which makes you feel more hungry – for carbohydrates,
An increase in the stomach hormone ghrelin which makes you eat more – which causes weight gain.

No wonder your diet isn’t working!

How Much Sleep Do You Need?

A good night’s sleep – depending on your age – is: 7-7 1/2 hours per night for adults, pre-schoolers need 10-12 hours, school age children need 9 1/2 -11 hours and teenagers need 9-10 hours a night.

Master Bedroom Health: Design For Better Sleep

Cluttered bedrooms

are a prescription for difficulty sleeping. Note: clutter hidden in closets still effects you – out of sight is not out of your subconscious mind.
Bed position

As a human being you are hard-wired to be vigilant if your back is exposed. Position your bed so you Have a solid wall behind the head of the bed – you will feel grounded, protected and more fully relaxed for better sleep. If you have windows behind the head of your bed, then consider shutters or heavy curtains which you close at night.
No Television or Computer in the Bedroom.

This is especially true for children. Electronic entertainment is hypnotic. Recent studies are linking televisions in childrens’ bedrooms with weight problems and Type 2 Diabetes. If you do have a TV or computer in your bedroom, hide it in a cabinet, armoire or cover it before bedtime with a lovely fabric throw. Think twice before viewing violent or stimulating television or video games before bedtime. They spike adrenaline levels which can take hours to return to normal.
Honor your own sleepiness

Whenever you ignore your own sleepiness and continue to stay up, you will get a burst of energy that you won’t be able to turn off. That way you will feel awake long after. A favorite television program on late? Record it for viewing at a better time.
Dim the lights

in your home at least an hour before you plan to sleep to stimulate melatonin production. Melatonin is the brain’s natural sleep hormone, which is triggered by a decrease in ambient light, such as at sunset. Modern electric lighting blocks this natural and timely response. A little smart lighting adjustment at bedtime with support a smooth transition to sleep.
Use blackout shades

or curtain linings to protect you from early morning sunlight, especially during Summer. If you don’t need blackout window treatments yourself, consider them for your young child’s bedroom. The younger they are the more likely they will awake and wake you with the first pre-dawn light.

Set-up your bedroom or modify your evening routine to insure yourself a good night’s sleep.

Pleasant dreams!

Want help creating a Healthy Master Bedroom? Contact Linda

image by Varvara

Feng Shui Lighting: Going Green Shouldn’t Leave You Looking Green

June 19, 2012 by Linda Varone

The right compact fluorescent light bulb (CFL) can make the difference between a warm, welcoming room and a home that looks like a cheap discount store. A number of my green conscious clients complain their CFL’s make a stark unattractive light. They miss the warmth of incandescent (Edison) light bulbs. (I admit that I exaggerated a little – no one looks green, but the wrong CFL’s will make you look a bit pale and sickly.)

compact fluroescnet light bulb — The right compact fluorescent light bulb makes your home or workplace warm and welcoming

The remedy to this is “warm white” or “soft white” CFL’s with a color temperature between 2700 K to 3000 K, which approximates the warm light of 2400K incandescent light bulbs.

“Bright white” CFL’s have a color temperature of 3500 K. These are best for situations where you need bright light – such as craft work. Please note that CFL’s labeled “sunlight” or “daylight” are cool white fluorescent and only suitable for precision work areas.

Unfortunately light bulb manufacturers do not offer color temperature or Kelvin information on their packaging. You will either have to trust the “warm white” or “soft white” labels or go online and double check the color temperature ratings of specific bulbs. Sparsam™ CFL’s (available only at IKEA stores) provide the warm light of incandescent bulbs.

Hint: I find that I need more wattage than the conversion factor listed on the label. If you want to get 75 watts of illumination you will do better with an 18 watt CFL than a 15 Watt CFL.

Update: Warm Lighting is Now Widely Available – If You Know What to Look For

Light bulb manufacturers have listened to consumers and warm CFL bulbs are easy to find.

The newer LED light bulbs are more energy efficient than CFLs, and after years of development can be found in a warm formulation. (Unaltered, LED bulbs have a distinctly cool blue light.)

Standard light bulb information label. — Standard lightbulb information label.

Light bulbs now have standardized information labels similar to nutrition labels. These list: lux, lumens and lifespan. There is also a horizontal scale line that tells you how warm or cool the bulbs light is, in degrees Kelvin. You want to choose light bulbs where the arrow on the scale is near the left end of the scale – 2700 degrees Kelvin.This is the warm CFL or LED you want to buy.

Another hint: CFL’s contain mercury, so dispose of them at special recycling places, or see if your retailer will accept them for safe disposal.

Take a look around your home and see if you have lighting in the right places and if your light bulbs give you the warmth that makes your space inviting, relaxing and user-friendly.

Furniture Placement for Connection: How to Avoid Furniture Sprawl

December 18, 2011 by Linda Varone

Tips on Furniture Placement for Connection with Others

Feng Shui gives you insights about furniture placement to maximize Chi flow and to provide a sense of protection. While this is important, it does not address the your most important need: connection with others. Furniture placement for connection is not about the furniture, it is about arranging seating, tables and lighting for relaxed conversation and easy eye contact.

“The most important thing is being able to make eye contact.”– Witold Rybzinski, architect and historian.

People feel most comfortable being together when the degree of emotional connectedness and physical closeness match.

When these two factors are not in sync people feel invaded or isolated, which can be experienced as anxiety or discomfort. And yet, people tend to spread out their furniture to fill the room, no matter the size of the space.

Please Note: The rooms you see in design magazines and online are setup for the best photo composition, not for how the room works in real life. These rooms are totally rearranged for the photographer.

Furniture placement for connection, diagram of interpersonal distances for specific interactions — For true connection and communication to occur, it is essential that you are the right distance from the person you are talking to – otherwise you will experience a feeling of stress, invasion or disconnect.

Interior Psychology calls this interaction zone “Interpersonal Distance”. Knowing how to use this helps you create spaces that make conversation calmer, intimacy easier and privacy possible.

The interpersonal Distances in Your Life:

Intimate Distance, 0-18 inches, is from skin-to-skin contact to arms length. This is most often used by lovers and parents with their children: for care, protection, passion. You can speak in a whisper or low voice, touch, kiss.

Personal Distance, 1 ½ – 4 feet, is for connection without touching. This is best for conversations with family and close friends. People will be drawn to seating spaces that are cozier, inviting people to hang out and connect.

Social Distances: 4-7 feet, is the “close phase” of Social Distances, which is appropriate for business or formal social gatherings. This is not a comfortable distance for everyday family time and conversation.

Seven to 12 feet is the “far phase” of Social Distance. At this distance your voice must be projected, the tone of your voice changes and your message becomes briefer. This changes the emotional dynamic of your conversation. Interior designers call this “shouting distance.” Spaces with furniture sprawl are most vulnerable to this.

How to Use Interpersonal Distances in Your Home – Furniture Placement for Connection

In Gathering Spaces: Living Rooms, Family Rooms, Dining Rooms and Kitchens:

Arrange seating to support face-to-face distance of 5 ½ – 7 feet or less (a tape measure is handy). During my consultations I move furniture around to help my clients experience how much better it feels to have a smaller seating area. Their surprised response is “I really like it this way!” Moving furniture closer together is especially important in large rooms where the impulse is to spread out furniture to fill the space = furniture sprawl.

When furniture is farther apart a space feels more formal and people will interact that way. When seating is closer together, what may at first glance look crowded, will feel cozy and comfortable.

Chair Placement for Eye Contact and Connection

Being aware of distance is the first part of arranging your furniture by making it easier to hear and speak. How your seating is grouped makes eye contact easier and more relaxed.

People instinctively gather in a circle when talking together. So arrange your chairs and sofa in a circle or U-shape or even an L-shape. When seated at a table, a round table is ideal.

Want help arranging your furniture for greater intimacy and connect while creating a room that looks beautiful? Contact me.

How do you arrange your furniture to make you feel comfortable? Share your ideas in the comments below.

image by linda varone

Connection is the Secret to Happiness: Arrange Your Home Around This

November 29, 2011 by Linda Varone

Connection is the Secret. The more time you spend having deeper conversations the happier you will be.

”…people who spend more of their day having deep discussions and less time engaging in small talk seem to be happier” – Matthias Mehl, psychologist University of Arizona.

Why is connection through conversation so important?
We need to find meaning in our lives.
We are social creatures and need to connect with other people.

Connection, Interiors psychology, three people talking and making easy eye contact — Easy eye contact is key to emotional connection and bonding.

Does your home set up hinder or support real conversation and connection with others?

Interiors Psychology identifies interpersonal distance and eye contact as the two most powerful factors in personal connection and bonding.

Arrange your home for connection. Do you eat your supper in front of the television, at your kitchen counter? Or do you sit down at a table with those you love most? Making eye contact with each other while sitting around a table is essential to creating and maintaining personal bonds. This is where conversation happens and sharing occurs. Support the powerful ritual of breaking bread together – sit around a table, not in front of the TV.

Is your living room or family room furniture spread out to fit the room, creating “shouting distance”? Move your furniture closer together is a simple and powerful way to support connections and encourage conversation. If your living room is large, borrow a tip from Upper East Side New York decorators: create two conversation or sitting areas in a room, instead of one disconnected sprawl of furniture. Illuminate your new sitting arrangements with some well placed lamps. Voila! – both your living room and you will have a new lease on life.

photo by Chip Griffin

Big space or small, get help arranging your home for better connection with your loved ones. Contact me today.

Feng Shui and Touch: The Forgotten Dimension of Your Home Experience

November 29, 2011 by Linda Varone

How you picture your home is visual, but your experience of it is multi-sensory. Think of the tactile or textural experience of your home. This is even more important as winter continues to hang on and we need to snuggle in.

A Feng Shui kitchen is the heart of the home. Picture yourself gathered around a table with friends or family, or sitting on your own with a cup of coffee or tea. Contrary to what your grandmother said, elbows and forearms will be resting on the table or kitchen island. Do you relax or draw away? What is your tactile or touch experience? If the table or kitchen counter is granite, marble or glass, you will withdraw from its cold hard surface – undermining the warm emotional experience you desire from your kitchen.

Wooden topped kitchen island — A truly welcoming kitchen island

A week ago my friend, Laurie, asked me what to do with her worn kitchen island countertop. Since I love to give my opinion on design issues, I was eager to hear her question.

She has a cherry wood counter top on her kitchen island, and after twenty years it is looking worn. Another friend suggested simply adding a granite top to the wooden surface, but Laurie was not sure that was the best situation.

I asked her how she uses her kitchen island. Laurie’s family shares meals at the island and her teenagers do their homework there. Clearly her kitchen island is an important gathering place for her family.

Granite is an elegant kitchen work surface, but it is also hard and cold. A gathering table or kitchen island needs to be warm and inviting. On a subtle level a granite, marble, stone or concrete counter will be unwelcoming. Because of its cold, hard qualities, you and your family and friends will avoid it and may not know why. More importantly you will loose a gathering place in your home.

Laurie’s friend is a serious home cook and her kitchen island was not used as a gathering place. In that case granite is great.

Think of touch and texture when you are selecting items for your home. Wood is the warmest and most welcoming. Formica and Corian are practical and neutral. Stone, concrete and glass are cold and hard.

The same tactile issues apply to a kitchen or dining room table – or even a desk. Think about your total experience of the material, not just its appearance. How welcoming is a glass-topped table? Is the table a gathering place, like a coffee table or dining table? Or is it an elegant decorative piece? Think of how you are using the piece – that will guide to make the best selection for your emotional and decorating needs.

Still, ever-ready to give advice to my friend – I suggested that all she simply refinish the solid wood counter top so it doesn’t look so worn. Ideally she can work with someone who will do minimum sanding to maintain as much of the patina of the wood as possible. One of the things we love about wood is the character it develops with time and wear – just like us. 😉

Update: Visiting my friend’s home recently, she was so happy that she kept her worn and warm cherry wood kitchen island counter top – and you can see why.

One of my favorite things about winter is having an excuse to snuggle up with sweaters, quilts and throws. A quilt or throw that has been washed innumerable times until it is deliciously soft is a wonderful treat. I find that natural materials are the best for warmth and comfort. A rayon chenille throw can feel plush, but is just does not keep me warm. Wool is warmest. Quilted silk or cashmere, if you are lucky, is purr-inducing. The tactile delights of summer are soft grass under your bare feet, freshly laundered cotton and linen and the silkiness of flower petals.

photo by author

Successful Family Meal Times with Interiors Psychology

November 26, 2011 by Linda Varone

“It seems to me that our three most basic needs for food, security and love are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others.” – MFK Fisher.

Our hectic lives have made dinner time into a fast food caloric refueling. Recent academic studies prove eating as a family is directly correlated with improved grades, and less involvement with drugs and alcohol among teens. Being together is the magic.

Eating at a kitchen counter is simply bringing a fast food setting into your home – families eat and run. Creating a space that invites your family to gather together is where Architectural Psychology comes in. You simply use your kitchen table, lighting, sound and a simple ritual.

Here are 5 easy steps to successful family meal times:

Sit around a table. Why a table? This is the most preferred seating arrangement. It is easiest to make eye contact. It is the most comfortable: inviting people to relax, linger and connect. What happens when people sit at a counter? Studies have shown sitting in a row is the least preferred seating arrangement tested. It could be because you have to really turn to see the person next to you. Plus perching on a kitchen stool does not encourage real relaxation.

Eating in front of the television? This is unconscious eating. A study by Tufts University correlates this with increased consumption of calories, fats, salts and sugars, and decreased intake of fruits and vegetables.

Use the magic of light to bring your family together. A chandelier or pendant light over the family table creates a warm pool of light that literally draws people in. Like people gathering around a campfire. Recessed ceiling lights or flat fluorescent panels do not create the same effect. If you do not have pendant lighting, then use candles or move the table closer to a window.

Turn down the volume. After school and the commute home, everyone is at a high pitch. When it is time to sit down to the table, turn off the television, video games, telephones (let the answering machine pick up your calls), cell phones and game boys. Lower your own speaking voice and remind your kids to use their “indoor voices”. Soft background music is optional.

A friend’s 3 year old son was so caught up in watching TV that he would rush through his dinner to get back to the television. He was falling behind on his Pediatrician’s growth chart. After we talked she decided that the TV would be off for 30 minutes to have a quiet and focused meal time. Initially Timmy protested, then he discovered the fun of having meal time with his mom. Next check-up he was back on track with his growth curve.

Start your meal time with a ritual or family tradition. Ring a chime, light candles (always supervise children around flames), say grace, hold hands with a moment of silence. A very simple gesture which has the magic of ritual is to simply pass the food around the table, family style, rather than self serve. You are literally sharing the food. Is there a family tradition you would like to adopt or revive? Go for it!

Use this golden time to teach by example. Table manners (a great life skill and confidence booster) and conversational skills such as listening and taking turns. Demonstrate attitudes of respect and caring for family members by tone of voice and helping. This is a great time to teach family values, while discussing everyday happenings and current events.

Studies have shown that girls are more sensitive to role modeling around food and eating then boys. Daughters of mothers that over eat, no matter what they say or how they try to control what their daughters eat, will tend to have weight problems of their own. Conversely daughters of mothers who modeled healthy enjoyable eating had lower rates of eating disorders.

Food, security and love are intertwined in our deepest memories. Family meals are really about sharing love in the form of time and attention. Use the insights of Architectural Psychology to create a warm gathering space for your family to share. Connect and make the everyday a moment of celebration.

picture by Violetta 73